I CAN WAIT
by Tamekia Reece

Nearly four out of 10 girls get pregnant at least once before they turn 20.

About five years ago, teenage pregnancy was an escalating problem. Advocates for abstinence, social workers, even singers spoke vehemently against it. "We need to put a stop to this. Every year, one million teenage girls get pregnant and it's time to take a stand."

For some, teenage pregnancy isn't such a problem as a way of life. Mothers used to preach and pray that they wouldn't become young grandmothers, but for many, that's becoming the norm. The world has come to accept that many young females will get pregnant each year, usually before the ripe old age of 20.

But now it's time to also realize that those of us who choose not to have children at a young age are just as mature, if not more, as those who do have children early.

Welcome to My World
"Do you have any children yet?"

"When are you going to give your mother a grandbaby?"

If I hear those words uttered one more time -- yes, I am only 20! -- I may have to scream.

And then there's that "look." You know -- the look of pity when I say I don't have a child -- or even worse, the look of superiority when they tell me about theirs. I'm given a look that makes me feel small and inadequate... one that's supposed to make me feel self-conscious about myself because, after all -- their having a baby makes them more mature or womanly than me.

Please!

Do not look down on me, or pity me because I've decided that the best thing for me to do is to wait. Do not turn your nose up at me or state you're more of a woman because you've had a child.

I've worked entirely too hard to have this body: These firm breasts, flat stomach, sexy hips, and killer thighs... I plan on keeping them for a little longer. I still want to strut my stuff for a few more years, and it's kind of hard to do that with a baby bouncing on your hip.

Do not judge me or say that I don't have a purpose in the world yet because I don't have a child to take care of. I am only 20 years old, and as far as I know, I don't have to edge anywhere near motherhood. My biological clock is not yet ticking away, it's just barely been wound.

So please excuse me if I want to get an education, find a great career, get a good man, make lots of money, and experience life before I start another one.

Right now, I feel the best thing for me and my future child(ren) is to make sure I'm the best I can be.

And it's okay, because I can wait.

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Tamekia Reece is a freelance writer residing in Houston, TX. She enjoys reading, writing, traveling and talking. Her published credits include: Chocolate For A Teen's Dreams (Simon & Schuster, 2003), Strong Winds Make Strong Trees (PMG Press), Planned Parenthood's Teenwire.com, Insight Magazine, HerTeen.com, and Setmag.com, among others.